January 25, 2017

What happened to the days of having a boyfriend or a girlfriend and walking hand in hand through the breezeway?  Where are the spontaneous gestures and sweet nothings whispered amongst young couples?  Doesn’t seem like giving flowers, taking a girl to dinner, or a hint of chivalry is flourishing in college.  My daughter is bright, beautiful, fun, witty, a true “catch.”  It boggles my mind that she and her close girlfriends don’t date!  What happened to those wonderful romantic days?

“Hello my name is Jolie…and I’m in love with LOVE.”

I’ll admit, I was that girl who always had a boyfriend.  Looking back, it was needy…downright dependent.  However, it was also wonderfully chock full of tender touches and butterfly moments.  I’m not advocating going out and getting a boyfriend “just because.”  In fact, I admire the strength of young women in college.  I’m just puzzled…no, downright BAFFLED by their lack of meaningful connection for any duration longer then a night....

November 23, 2016

There is never a right time…

“I can’t have breast cancer; I have a Bar Mitzvah in 6 months!”  This was the first thing that came out of my month after being diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in August 2013. How can this be…there is not enough time!

What to do? Well, thanks to my amazing family, we shot out of the gates day one. I was off to doctor appointments followed by second opinions and more doctor appointments. We had a solid plan in place: a lumpectomy followed by radiation…and I should be done. Of course, things never go as planned.

The second bombshell came on the eve of Rosh Hashanah. I was BRCA1 positive. This meant that my cancer was caused by a genetic mutation (think Angelina Jolie). I had known that there were a few red flags about my diagnosis: I was under the age of 50, and I was of Jewish Ashkenazi decent, which I learned has the highest rate of the gene mutation. However, with NO family history, this couldn’t be right!  Unfortunately, the diagnosis was accurate,...

October 31, 2016

College applications…does it feel like sprinting to the finish line?   How we handle this stressful period can stretch our parenting skills to the limit.  I’m almost at the finish line with my high school senior and here are some thoughts.

As moms we have a choice in the application process.  A) We can hover over our kids and micromanage each step to ensure they check the right boxes, proofread their essays, and make sure they list working for a family member in their resume.  B) We may choose to hire a college counselor to manage the whole thing (this is great as it can relieve you of the “nudge” factor!).  However, counselors are expensive and perhaps the pocket book doesn’t allow for this luxury.  Lastly, option C) Let them do it themselves, deadlines and all! 

Very few parents will choose the last option (at least the parents I know) as the process is too important to leave it up to your teen to undertake on his or her own.  It’s a tough decision, one ma...

June 13, 2016

So, your teen/young adult is home again after having been away in college for a full year, and it’s time to think about managing a curfew … you’re back in that saddle again. They’re home … you don’t know what the rules are … what do you do about enforcing a curfew??

This one is a bit tenuous at best, as you’ve already given your blessing of independence by sending them off to college, and now if feels like you might just be stripping it away (just a bit) by re-discussing a curfew. Do you treat him like he’s your child again in your house, or do you treat him like a young adult who can make mature decisions while living in your house? Tough one, for sure.

I always grew up with the mantra, When in my house, my rules. Up until the very day I got married, my boyfriend, then fiancé, then husband-to-be of 24 yearsslept in a separate room. I was okay with that, strangely even comforted by the division of space. But here I am with a young adult at home, and I don’t know what the right answer is...

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